procrastinating

"Talvez bastasse qualquer coisa, como chegar muito perto de você, passar a mão no teu cabelo e te chamar de amigo. Ou sorrir, só sorrir"

I know this was supposed to be an English blog, but Caio makes me feel so ... understood? And this phrase is so cute, I can't handle it hahah. Today I'm posting about... Nothing. Cool huh? If I were you I'd not read this post, ahah. Maybe the next I'll talk about Maquiavel or something more interesting, but today I'm so tired I can't even touch my books. This cold weather + annoyed nose (?) + feelings after Easter = procrastination. So, I was going to talk about the guy from class A, but it's too complicate and tragic. haha. If I ever become friends with him, maybe I'll talk about him just as I did with B.T. And talking about B, today I sat away from him and he complained to me. Sooo cute, it made me happy! hahaha. Well, today I had a nightmare. A woman named Andreia wanted to murder me and the whole night she was chasing to kill me. Great? hahaha. Well, I'm sleepy, goodnight (???)

and i'm sorry for the terrible post. almost.

luckiest place ever

Yesterday I went to Bachan's house and I've noticed, in the garden, a pot of four leaf clovers. And when a saw that kind of allegory of fortune and luck, I tought - "there isn't a place more aproppriate than Bachan's house to put this pot". Because her house is such a calm and pleasant place, when I'm in there, the aura is pretty nice. Dichan keeps singing in the house, so cute! And Bachan is really positive and has those seicho-no-ie feelings that makes me feel like home. Maybe I feel like home in there better than in my own home. That house makes me remember my childhood, when little hyperactive cousins were driving the aunts crazy. And after that, the place is where I meet my family on holidays. So, I've got only good memories of it. Laughs, cards and good food. Without getting tired of it. Well, I do believe that those clovers are in the right place.

ps: comments are nice. :)

turner sky

Today I saw a Turner Sky. Returning from class on foot, I looked at the sky and viewed that Turner sky I always saw at Freerice.com and at Sandra's art history. I think Turner's way of painting is so beautiful, but I've never stared (or never noticed) at it as a live sky. It's awesome! The weather was so cold (wearing gloves yet!), Foo Fighters was making me company, and the sky was at twilight. Looking at the horizon, I could check the clouds better outlined, and the colors, and the lights. But up above the sky there were Turner clouds, so smoky, so flowing, so peaceful! Surely had a good time today.

(But on Earth it was darkening, so I had to return to home faster :( )

heart felt stuff

This whole happening in Realengo made me notice how fragile human being is. I can't handle watching this Fantastico's report. It's just too terrifying, it's unbelievable, I can't. Thinking about every single life taken because of... Because of what? What was happening to that man? I don't want to judge him, I bet Wellington was initially a nice person. Following a Rousseau like thought, I wish I knew what took him to do something like this. Writing that kind of letter and planning that massacre, it's not purely rational - he was extremely changed. Not the same effect of drugs, but the effect of such a pain I can't imagine. And I feel sorry about him. I feel sorry about those children, about their families, about everyone's life in that place. I feel sorry because he wasn't the only one who was suffering that way. I feel shame, impotency, even tough guilty. Why he had to do that? Earlier bullying in that school, frustrations, mother's death, fundamentalism...? It sounds incomprehensible, right? I wish I could save him before this deep state of unaware impassivity.

There are so many stuff we still have to change, and I feel really disappointed about this sensacionalistic midia, not caring about the psychological state of the survived ones. Watching the news these days made me want to do medicine so badly, I really want this, I really have to do this...

for real?

English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing... I've got tests this Friday. God helps me. Did I mention that I'm even praying in English? It's funny, and I know He is able to understand me hahaha. Hope I'll understand english on Friday too :( English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing, English practicing...

"desejo a você um amor, um louco amor"

I hope before your death you had this fulfilled peace you wrote once. Maybe somewhere you'll find out all my beliefs about "amor, saudade, e paz". Yeah, I truly want to experience all those feelings described in your words, some of them I can only imagine. I know you can't get what I mean now, I'm just a 18 years old girl and I think you're so great, you're so huge... If I could, I'd embrace you and say "shu, it's ok, no need to be afraid". Years ago I used to believe that those famous phrases were all hyperbolical ones. But now I get - they're beautiful; and real. Almost undescribable, but you've got the gift to translate feelings into words. Actually, when I read you, looks like you know every single part of my soul. I feel the same way, and I sense your tenderness right by my side. You made me stronger. Thank you.

C.F.A. ♥

(call me gay, i know hahaha)